: not related to or used for a nation’s military defenses nondefense spending nondefense businesses/industries.

What is being non-defensive?

We are using non-defensive communication when we ask questions, make statements and predict consequences in an open, sincere way without trying to control how other people respond. We can gather accurate information, speak with clarity, protect ourselves, and hold others more accountable.

What is non-defensive listening?

Non-defensive listening—above all else, even above non-defensive responding—is about focusing on the other person’s communication in order to understand, get clarity, and respond, rather than react, appropriately. … Focus on what the other person is saying, doing, and communicating in an interaction.

How do you communicate non defensively?

  1. Be Secure In Who You Are. You’re less likely to get defensive or hurt over something when you know for sure that it’s not true. …
  2. Stop Retaliating & Genuinely Listen. …
  3. Use “I” Statements. …
  4. Think Long-Term Instead Of Short-Term. …
  5. Learn How To Receive Criticism. …
  6. It’s OK To Be Wrong.

What is the opposite of being defensive?

Opposite of used or intended to defend or protect. offensive. attacking. undefensive. unprotective.

What is meant by defensive communication?

Defensive communication is a communicative behavior that occurs within relationships, work environments, and social groups when an individual reacts in a defensive manner in response to a self-perceived flaw or a threat from outsiders.

How can I practice non defensive listening?

  1. Write down what your partner says and any defensiveness you’re feeling. Dr. …
  2. Be mindful of love and respect. …
  3. Slow down and breathe. …
  4. Hold on to yourself. …
  5. Don’t take your partner’s complaint personally. …
  6. Ask for a reframe. …
  7. Push the pause button.

How do I stop being defensive in a relationship?

  1. Listen to the truth within the criticism. …
  2. Reach beyond the negativity and attempt to give the benefit of the doubt. …
  3. Validate your partner’s perception (even if you disagree) …
  4. Tell your partner what you agree with.

Is being defensive bad?

Purpose of Defensiveness While defensive behaviors might help you to feel better in the short term, in the long term they generally result in you feeling worse. As you point out the flaws in the other person to avoid feeling attacked, you end up making the other person defensive as well.

How do you talk to someone without getting defensive?
  1. Refrain from reacting defensively. …
  2. Shift your focus to the other person. …
  3. Ask questions until you understand them. …
  4. Move toward a resolution.
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What is an example of a defensive behavior?

1. aggressive or submissive behavior in response to real or imagined threats of harm. A cat, for example, may exhibit defensive aggression by spitting and hissing, arching its back, and raising the hair along the back of the neck in anticipation of a physical threat (see animal defensive behavior).

Why do I get defensive with my husband?

“A simple acknowledgment that you’ve heard your partner can be enough to diffuse the situation. Defensiveness is a gut reaction to feeling alone or unfairly attacked or criticized. However, having that defensiveness be a default reaction sends a message to your partner that their feelings don’t matter.

What do you mean by defensive?

(Entry 1 of 2) 1 : serving to defend or protect defensive fortifications. 2a : devoted to resisting or preventing aggression or attack defensive behavior He became defensive when I brought up his spending habits.

What causes defensive behavior?

Summary: Research has shown that defensiveness in response to wrongdoing is exacerbated by making the wrong doer feel like they’re an outcast. Defensive behaviours are common responses when people feel personally attacked but can undermine our ability to identify problems and find solutions.

What is defensiveness in a relationship?

Defensiveness is really a way of blaming your partner. Defensiveness is really a way of blaming your partner. The third horsemen in the Four Horsemen is defensiveness, which is defined as self-protection in the form of righteous indignation or innocent victimhood in an attempt to ward off a perceived attack.

What is defensive attitude?

Someone on the defensive is concerned with justifying their actions or words. They have a defensive attitude as they try to protect themselves. If you know that to defend is to protect, you have an idea what defensive means. When a person is acting defensive, they’re trying to protect or justify themselves.

How do you listen to criticism without being defensive?

  1. Listen. The first response most of us have when it comes to even the best intended criticism is to become defensive. …
  2. Ask questions. …
  3. Respond. …
  4. Accentuate the positive. …
  5. Own it. …
  6. Write it down. …
  7. Do something nice for yourself.

What is ambushing in communication?

Ambushing– careful and attentive listening to collect information that can be used against the other person as an attack (listeners question, contradict, or oppose the other person to trap them or use their own words against them).

Which of the following is an example of nonverbal behavior?

Facial expressions, gestures, paralinguistics such as voice volume or sound, body language, proxemics or personal space, eye gaze, haptics (touch), appearance, and objects are all examples of nonverbal communication.

Is empathy a defensive behavior?

Empathy. The fourth type of defensive behavior is neutrality. … Empathy allows for acceptance of the other person and their feelings. This can be taken as both verbal and non-verbal messages as communication is not linear and both communicators are giving and receiving messages at all times.

How do you tell someone they are defensive?

  1. Calmly state your intentions up-front. For particularly sensitive topics that you’re almost sure will generate a defensive response, it can be helpful to just anticipate it. …
  2. Avoid leading with an accusation. …
  3. Steer clear of “always,” “never,” and “you” statements.

What's the difference between being defensive and defending yourself?

There is no difference between defensiveness and defending yourself. Learning to step away from the need to defend yourself in any given interaction is one of the most powerful relational skills you can develop. There are very few scenarios in which we truly need to defend our point of view.

How do you deal with defensiveness?

  1. Increase your self-awareness in difficult conversations.
  2. Validate your fears and insecurities.
  3. Apply a little self-compassion.
  4. Clarify your values.
  5. Anticipate your defensiveness.
  6. Boost your self-esteem (the right way)

What is the difference between being defensive and explaining yourself?

You’re defensive when you have done something wrong, was called out for it, but don’t want to admit wrong. You speak up for yourself when you’re accused of something you didn’t do, or being treated unfairly, and you need to defend your right and uphold your ideal.

Why does my boyfriend get defensive when I tell him how I feel?

If your partner gets defensive when you tell him how you feel it could mean he lacks emotional maturity, has a hard time being vulnerable, or simply thinks you’re attacking or blaming him for your feelings. It can be incredibly draining if he always gets defensive when you try and express your feelings.

How do I stop being defensive and argumentative?

  1. Know your triggers and anticipate them. …
  2. Give it a name. …
  3. Assume good intentions. …
  4. Don’t take it personally. …
  5. Adopt a growth mindset. …
  6. Exercise self-compassion.

What causes defensive communication?

Defensive communication happens when a message triggers a sense of threat, and therefore defensiveness, on the part of the listener. … As a person becomes more defensive, he or she becomes less and less able to perceive accurately the message and the motives of the speaker.

How being defensive is hurting your marriage?

Defensiveness puts up walls that separate us rather than drawing us closer together. It causes us to withdraw from each other, causing a loss of connection and intimacy. At first, we may not even realize that a separation has occurred. And over time, those walls can begin to feel almost “normal.”

Do liars get defensive?

Experts say that it’s common for liars to get defensive during an argument.

How do you talk to a defensive partner?

  1. Stick to the facts. …
  2. Use “I” statements. …
  3. Do not mirror the defensive person’s anger. …
  4. Raise your hand up towards the other person with an open palm, to signal stop. …
  5. Repeat yourself. …
  6. Physically remove yourself.